Witty Signs

Vets office: "all unattended children given free kitten"

Plumber: "We repair what your husband fixed."

Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one Weak."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello, can we pick your nose?"

Sign at the psychic's Hotline: "Don't call us, we'll call you."

At a Towing Company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

Billboard on the side of the road: "Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."

On an Electricians truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On Maternity Room Door: "Push, Push, Push."

At an Optometrists Office
"If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

On a fence: "Salesmen Welcome, Dog food is expensive."

Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary, we'll hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"

Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."

In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

In a counselors office: "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.